Job hunting once again

I’m job hunting again. I’ve come full circle: degree, job hunting, degree, job hunting, degree, job hunting. Maybe I should stop studying…

I realise this is a topic I’ve written about in the past, reading through a few of those old posts I’ve noticed how my attitude has changed.

In the past, as a fresh-faced graduate, my approach was to sidle up politely, apologise profusely and generally sing happy songs in my head until the process was over.

It went like this:

“Excuse me… Ahem.. Um excuse me, sorry to be such a burden and to take up any of your precious, precious time but I have a job application I’d like to submit to you if you have time in your busy schedule to possible even accept it. Thank you so much, please accept this pint of my blood as a down-payment for my soul, collectible upon employment with your fine upstanding organisations.”

Bless.

And here I am again. This time though, I am an experienced media/comms/marketing/events professional with post-graduate qualifications. The only difference is I’m in a new country. Far from making me nervous and subservient in my applications, it’s made me a massive snob. Only applying for jobs that really interest me, rather than the blanket approach of my youth. Hell, I’ve got enough savings to sit on my couch for another few months, I’m deciding whether to do a PhD, I’ve got options, man! I don’t necessarily see this as a bad thing, but it has kind of come out in my applications…

“Hey you. I am fantastic. I am the most experienced, qualified applicant you will ever hope to have the pleasure of meeting. If you choose not to hire me through some clerical error or organisational quirk, I brought tissues for when the enormity of your misguided decision hits you. There, there. I’d tell you there are others out there but that would be a lie. Only one me. Soz bro.”

Direct quote from my cover letter. Ok, it’s not. But I’ve found I’m far less modest about my achievements. Rather than subtly hinting at them in white font or through postal stamp choice or however I did it years ago, I’m much more upfront what I can and can’t do. Most about what I can do…

Back then, I imagine I inflicted a lot of suffering on recruiters: they must have got hand strains from time spent scrunching up my applications, and migraines from composing polite, yet crushing, rejection letters. Singapore is great though! At the end of each job ad, they state that “Only shortlisted applicants will be contacted”. How good is that? No defeat, no rejection, just a chance to forget about your application then think of it again in a few weeks: “Oh yeah! I guess I didn’t get it, ah well!” This truly is a more advanced society.

Anyway, I better stop procrastinating and get back to it. These applications aren’t going to write themselves. Ahem…. Also to any employers that may have stumbled on this site, this is a work of fiction and any resemblance to cover letters, living or dead, is purely coincidental…. Please visit my LinkedIn page for more samples of my work!

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